Disclaimers in Part 1

Jim versus the Volcano
Part 7 -Isla del Volcan Repugnante- Blair 

I felt nauseous, and I didn't know if it was the remnants of the concussion 
or the knowledge that within a few hours Jim Ellison would be throwing 
himself into a live volcano.

Once the canoes landed on the white, sandy beach of the island, Jim was taken 
to a special hut. I wanted to go with him, but Incacha told me, in the 
language of the Chopecs, that because Jim was a ... a something or other, he 
had to be sequestered until the feast. He would be in a hut similar to a 
sauna, and the only person who could join him, other than the men who would 
oversee the ritual cleansing of his body, was his ... but again I did not 
understand the word he used. 

Jim forced a smile. "I'll see you later, Blair." And he went with the 
shaman's men.

"Jim." His name was softer than a whisper on my lips.

He whirled around and came back to me. "Babe, I..." His mouth came down on 
mine, so hard my lips were bruised. My fingers bit into the muscles of his 
shoulders, and I tried to pull him closer to me. Before I could part my lips 
to tease his tongue into entering my mouth, he pulled himself away. "I..." He 
turned on his heel and hurried away with the men.

Beneath our feet, the ground shook. 

"You don't have to worry, Shaman," I snarled. "Jim Ellison is an honorable 
man. He's said he'll jump into your volcano; he will. The goddamned, noble 
fool!"

Incacha had watched the scene play out with shrewd, narrowed eyes. "Come, 
young man. I will see to your injury." He took me to a small hut. The boy who 
stood in the doorway extended a coconut shell cup, which Incacha took from 
him. He murmured some words over it and urged me to drink. "It will help the 
pain in your head, young..." Again he used one of the words I couldn't 
understand. I knew it was important that I understand it, but his mention of 
my headache distracted me, brought my attention back to how much my head did 
hurt. With other things to worry about, it had not been at the forefront of 
my mind; now it returned with a vengeance.

I gulped down the sweet, milky-white liquid, and almost immediately began to 
feel drowsy and lightheaded. The boy led me into the hut and gestured for me 
to lie down on a mat woven of island grasses. It seemed to beckon me, and was 
surprisingly comfortable. My eyes grew heavy, and within seconds they drifted 
shut, and I slid into a deep sleep. For a heartbeat it was dreamless, but 
then began the first of the recurring dreams. This one had plagued my sleep 
for the last eight years.

~~~~

We had been driven back and driven back yet again. Now we were huddled on a 
spit of land with the sea before us and our enemies at our back. I stood 
beside my Sentinel, a spear in one hand and a knife in the other, ready to 
die with him to protect our people.

The ground beneath our feet began to shift and heave, and Volcan Repugnante 
was born. Within minutes our enemies were destroyed in a rain of fire and 
molten rock. 

"More will return, and we will be punished for this!" wailed the old women of 
the tribe, and not all of them were female. 

Again the ground quaked and vibrated, and this time the land began to float 
on the ocean waves that suddenly surrounded us. Further and further out to 
sea the island drifted, until it was impossible to see the mainland.

"We have been saved! The volcano has saved us!"

"But now it will destroy us! See, it is still spewing forth lava!"

The elders gathered together in a holy place. They prayed and fasted. Finally 
they returned to face their distraught people. "The volcano has indeed saved 
us, but now it is demanding payment. One of us must be sacrificed! The gods 
have told us the man to do this is our Sentinel."

"NO!" I shouted. He trusted me, cared for me. The planting moon had come and 
gone three times before he had finally learned to do more than simply accept 
me as his Guide. I would not lose him now. "Choose someone else! Surely the 
volcano would rather a virgin? Or have we none of those left?"

My Sentinel touched my arm. "It is my task to always protect the tribe. If 
this is what is required of me, I will do it."

I threw myself into his arms. "No! Please, no! I cannot live without you. I 
do not want to live without you!"

He stroked my hair, and the motion soothed me. "Very well. We will seek 
another solution." I didn't realize that he had sent a silent message to the 
tribe's chieftain. 

"Guide, we will need you to see if any survive on the other side of the 
island. Perhaps there is one there who will be willing to sacrifice him or 
herself. We will do nothing until your return."

I bowed to him, relief making me almost giddy. "This I will do." I made my 
way through our makeshift village, but before I reached the outskirts, my 
Sentinel caught up with me. He pulled me into his arms and caressed my lips 
with his. Although we had rutted many times, very rarely did he kiss me, and 
never before witnesses. I left the village, my heart filled with joy. Fool 
that I was, it never occurred to me that he was kissing me good-bye. 

He waited no longer than it took for me to jog out of sight before climbing 
to the top of the volcano and throwing himself in. By the time I returned it 
was over. 

I ran from one hut to another, frantically searching for him. "Where is he?" 
I demanded furiously. As one they turned to gaze at the mountain, which was 
no longer smoking.

"He did what he was born to do. He protected the tribe."

I raced to the top of the mountain, but it was sealed, as if it had never 
erupted, and there was no way for me to join the man I loved. I howled my 
despair to the skies until my throat closed up and no sounds would emerge. I 
tore my hair and gouged my flesh.

When I came back down off that benighted mountain, none dared meet my eyes. 
Half blind, weak from loss of blood and grief, I stood in the center of the 
village. "Curse you!" I whispered hoarsely, and they shuddered, for I was a 
powerful shaman in my own right. "Curse you all! You think that this is over, 
that the volcano's desire for human flesh has been sated? I swear to you that 
this is only the beginning! In one hundred years Volcan Repugnante will 
awaken again, and again it will demand a sacrifice. This volcano will never 
be satisfied. Never!" I staggered and would have fallen but for the 
chieftain, who caught me.

"Please, I beg you! You cannot do this! Think of all who will die! You would 
curse the children?"

My Sentinel was gone! What did I care about these people? I stared at the 
little ones, and I thought of how he had loved them. I pushed myself away 
from the chieftain. "The curse has been cast, it cannot be recalled. The most 
I can do is temper it." A sigh of relief rose to float on the night air, and 
my eyes narrowed. "I would have followed my Sentinel down into the volcano. 
If ever there is another Guide who loves his Sentinel enough to do that, then 
the curse will be lifted."

But there would never be a Guide who loved as I had; I had no doubt of that. 
Satisfied that these people would be punished until the end of time, I 
stumbled from the village and made my way to the beach. There was nothing 
more for me to live for. I walked into the surf. When the waves reached my 
chest I began to swim, and I swam until exhaustion overtook me, and then I 
drowned. 

****

I woke with a start, gasping for breath. I hated that dream, and wondered 
what Freud would have said about it. Probably something sexual to do with 
Naomi. I shuddered and found myself falling back into an uneasy doze.

The dreams in which I would run through the forest on four legs searching for 
someone had originally started when I was in my middle teens. I used to look 
forward to them, because they would always result in an extremely intense 
orgasm. Eventually, in spite of the pleasurable climax, I began to dread the 
dreams. I could never find him, no matter how hard I tried, and the futility 
of my search grew more painful with each dream, until it became unbearable. 

I taught myself to stop the dream as soon as I realized I was having it, and 
now months would go by before it disturbed my sleep again. And even though I 
was able to prevent myself from dreaming, I always awoke with a sense of 
loss.

This time, however, I had no control over the dream...

~~~~

I whined and crouched low upon the ground, my tail tucked tightly between my 
legs. This place was not the usual forest in which I ran. The air was hotter, 
thicker, heavy with humidity that had me panting in a fruitless effort to 
cool myself. //Fear not, young Guide. Your Sentinel awaits you.// The 
presence in my mind seemed to envelope the essence of who I was, and I was 
comforted. //Now, go forth to seek and find him.//

A warm breeze redolent of the scents of the rainforest carried a tantalizing 
odor that had me quivering in anticipation. I recognized his scent! I bounded 
to my feet and began to run, my head thrust forward, my nostrils flared, 
tracking him. Ahead of me the thick underbrush suddenly parted to reveal a 
clearing that was carpeted with lush grasses and fragrant blossoms. But all 
that mattered to me was the black panther who lay in the center of the 
clearing, his blue eyes watching cautiously as I approached him.

//It is you?//

//It is me. It has taken a long time for you to find me.//

//And for you to find me.// I approached him without any fear, although 
somewhere in my mind I knew that panthers and wolves were natural enemies. I 
lay down beside him and licked his muzzle. 

The panther raised a massive paw and rested it gently on my neck, and 
proceeded to run his rough tongue over my head and shoulders, imprinting my 
scent on his enhanced senses. I rolled over onto my back, exposing my 
vulnerable belly to him, and he nuzzled and licked at the sheath that 
protected my cock, arousing me. I whimpered and parted my legs so he would 
have better access to me. 

The ground began to tremble and shake, and at first I thought it was due to 
my approaching orgasm. A deafening sound tore the quiet of that glade, and 
the panther flinched as molten ash fell from the sky. Huge rocks thundered to 
the ground around us, and I bolted to my feet, ready to escape the sudden 
madness of this place.

//Follow me! Hurry!// But he wasn't behind me, and when I looked back, I saw 
his beautiful black pelt burned away, leaving muscle and bone exposed. I 
raced back to him.

//Leave me.// The mental voice was filled with pain, weak and fading.

//Never.// Carefully, trying to cause him as little additional pain as 
possible, I covered his body with mine. //I will never leave you.// Together, 
we waited for the end...

~~~~

Incacha was squatting beside me when I awoke, carefully brushing the hair 
from my face. I shivered and stared blankly at him, and pushed myself into a 
sitting position. My headache had vanished, and I felt marginally better, but 
the memories of the recurring dreams disturbed me more than I liked. Never 
had they been so vivid, or so morbid. I'd never died in them before.

Incacha's expression was somber. "Bathe and dress. It is time." 

"There has to be some way for Jim to get out of this! Please, Incacha!"

The ground trembled, and he balanced himself on his fingertips and shook his 
head. "Enqueri must meet his fate." 

"'Enqueri'? Jim? Why do you call him that?"

"That is the name he has been given."

"Okay, fine, I don't care if you call him Little Bo Peep! Look, I can make up 
some story that will satisfy Naomi. I'll tell her there's no more chatarra, 
that it washed into the sea..."

"You do not understand. Without this sacrifice, my people, this island, will 
be destroyed when the volcano erupts. The chatarra is the price we have 
agreed to pay for the..." He used one of the words that I couldn't 
understand, and I grew impatient with myself. "... but we would have met any 
price. There is no choice. Many..." again that word! "... have died to 
appease Volcan Repugnante, and still it demands more flesh." His eyes were 
tired. He rose to his feet and pointed to a pile of clothes. "Bathe and 
dress, and do not keep us waiting."

The boy showed me to a small waterfall where I was able to wash off the itchy 
coating of dried salt water. He handed me a conch shell and gestured toward 
my head. I poured its contents over my hair and massaged it in, then stuck my 
head under the cascade of water and rinsed it out. By the time I finished and 
was feeling more human, the soft shades of twilight had started to fall. We 
returned to the little hut. 

I examined the clothing and was surprised to find the dress trousers and 
shirt were in my size. A more careful examination revealed that they were 
mine; I had worn them our first night out to sea, and must have left them 
behind in Jim's stateroom when I returned to my own cabin the following 
morning. I spared a thought as to how they had wound up on this volcanic 
island, then decided I didn't really care.

I stepped out of the hut to find the village brightly lit with torches. The 
elders of the village, with Jim in their midst, ate the crustaceans that had 
been harvested off their island's shore, and drank the potent beverage their 
women had fermented. The younger members of the tribe sang and danced, joyful 
that a hero had been found who would save their miserable asses.

The ground vibrated, and a terrified silence fell. Everyone stared at Jim. He 
was wearing a black tuxedo that looked even better on him than the white one. 
From where I sat, I could see him swallow heavily. Incacha's voice was quiet 
when he spoke as if answering a question. "There is no ceremony, Enqueri. You 
just jump in."

Jim swallowed again, stood, and faced the shaman. "Take me to the volcano."

Incacha pointed the way to a long, crooked path that wove in and out and 
eventually wound to the top of the volcano. The tip was smoking and glowed 
with a dull, sullen fire. The Chopecs followed, and I was left sitting in the 
center of the village, alone.

As if a veil had been lifted, I suddenly understood the Quechua words that 
had eluded my grasp. Sentinel! Guide!  Jim was a sentinel. I was a guide.

"No! No, goddamn it!" I ran after them, ignoring the rocks and sharp bits of 
vegetation that bit into my bare feet. "Wait! You wait, Jim Ellison! Stop 
right there!" I shouted.

To my surprise, he did stop, but he stood there ignoring me. I was standing 
before him now. His face was calm, his eyes blank as they stared into the 
flickering light of a burning torch that lit the way to the top of the 
volcano. 

Sentinels could lose themselves in sensory objects at times; that was one of 
the reasons they needed a guide. 

"Listen to my voice, Jim. Come back to me!" I spoke the words over and over 
until finally he shook himself and met my eyes.

"Blair?" His nostrils flared, and he leaned toward me, running his nose 
against the curve of my cheek and into my hair.

My breath was expelled in a sigh of relief. "Jim!" I rubbed his arms. "I love 
you! I've fallen in love with you! All these years, when I've protected my 
heart, when I swore I'd never... But now I've finally found you, and you're 
gonna kill yourself?"

He looked stunned. "You love me?"

"Jim, you just can't die and leave me on this stinking Earth alone without 
you!" 

He raised his hand to touch me, then dropped it and stepped back. "I love you 
too, babe. It's great. I'm glad." His eyes glittered with unshed tears, and 
he blinked rapidly. "But the timing stinks! I gotta go!"

"Jim! Will you listen to me? I finally understand the words that Incacha was 
saying!"

"Go back down, and... huh? What are you talking about?"

"All those times when you knew what I'd said, even though I'd hardly spoken 
out loud? When you heard the breakers on this island, even though we were out 
of normal earshot? When you've seen things, or..." I recalled the times when 
we'd made love, and blushed. "Or known that I wanted you, or was ready for 
you to take me, just from my scent?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You're a Sentinel."

"I know that. You're not making much sense. I'm still lost, Blair."

"Jim, I'm a Guide."

"Since when?"

"Since forever. I just couldn't find my Sentinel."

His eyes blazed with excitement, and his face lit up. "A Guide?" And then it 
fell. "It's too late for me. Get out of here, Blair. This is dangerous!"

"No shit, Sherlock! Don't you understand?" I grabbed his arm and gave it a 
shake. "You're *my* Sentinel. I'm *your* Guide! We belong together. Forever. 
Come hell or high water."

"No." He started back up the volcano like he had a poker up his butt. "Blair, 
I don't want you. Can't you get that through your thick Sandburg skull? I had 
fun fucking you, but that's all it was! Now get the fuck off this goddamned 
volcano before I pick you up and throw you down off it!"

"What's the problem, Ellison? Are you afraid of the commitment? You'll have 
to..." My voice cracked. "... to love and... and honor me for about thirty 
seconds."

"Blair, I used to be a cop. 'Protect and Serve' weren't just some words on 
the side of a police car. I lived by that. And when I stopped... I've got to 
do this, babe. I've got to be brave and jump in. Good-bye."

He was saying good-bye without even a touch, a kiss, a... I was stunned. He 
had gone about a half dozen yards closer to the mouth of the volcano before I 
was able to shake myself out of my stupefaction. "Just one goddamn fucking 
minute, Jim Ellison!"

"Please don't come out here."

"Fuck that." I stormed up to him. "I'm jumping in with you."

Time seemed to stand still. We were suddenly surrounded by silence so thick 
it wrapped around us like a blanket. The shaman, his people, the volcano 
itself, all faded into nothingness, and it was just Jim and I.

"Blair. I can't let you do that." He walked away from me again, and I hurried 
to catch up with him.

I dragged him to a halt and spun him around. "I told you, Ellison. I do what 
I want. And what I want is to be with you for the rest of my life, for 
however long that might be. What I won't do is live without you! That 
wouldn't be living, Jim, that would just be existing!" I reached up to thread 
my fingers through the short strands of his hair and whispered, "'Long 
ago...'" I embraced him, rubbing my cheek over his heart, and willed him to 
feel my determination. "Listen to me! Nobody knows anything. We'll take this 
leap, and we'll see. We'll jump, and we'll see."

"Babe..." He touched my hair, which was being tossed about by the breeze that 
had suddenly risen. "I've been miserable for so long, years of my life 
wasted." With firm steps, he began that final climb, and I fell into step 
beside him.

We reached the top, and he stared up through the tendrils of smoke that rose 
gracefully into the night sky. His arm came around my shoulder. "It's been a 
long and crooked road getting to you, Blair Sandburg." His head lowered, and 
for a second, his lips were warm and gentle on mine. When he drew back, his 
eyes were shining. "Did I ever tell you, the first time I saw you, it felt 
like I'd seen you before?"

"Really?" I sighed and laid my head against his arm. "You're not going 
anywhere without me. And please don't ask me if I'm sure, or I'll shove you 
in before you can jump in!"

That startled a chuckle from him. "So, what are we hoping for?"

"A miracle?"

He nodded and took a step closer to the edge of the volcano. "I love you."

"You do? Okay. Just please don't start humming Bolero, okay?"

Jim laughed again. "Okay. This is it." Those blue eyes of his gazed at me as 
if he was trying to memorize my features, and he took a deep breath, then 
coughed at the sulfurous fumes.

"Dial it down." My first official action as his Guide. And my last. I waited 
until he was under control once more. "Give me your hand." I swallowed, but 
my mouth was too dry to even work up a thimbleful of spit. I was so scared, 
but there was no way I was going to let him do this alone. His fingers closed 
over mine. "I love you too, Jim."

"Okay. On the count of three?"

"Just a second. One, two, three, jump? Or one, two, jump on three?"

"Blair!"

"Sorry, babe." I brought his hand to my chest, pulling him closer, and kissed 
him. Then, side by side, we faced the future and stepped out into space...


The Raft--Again 

We dropped like a pair of stones, rushing down to meet the molten rock that 
dwelled in the belly of that volcano. The heat rose to steal our breath. 
Sweat poured off us, breathing became increasingly more difficult...

And then we were being catapulted back, up and out, like a pair of meteors 
flashing across the night sky. The force tore us apart; the wind tore his 
name from my lips. "Jjjiiimmm!"

Compared to the heated night air, the water felt frigid. I went in feet 
first, down, down, down, and just when I began thinking there was no end, my 
journey was reversed and I was flung back to the surface.

I broke through the water, choking and gasping, having been unable to prevent 
myself from taking a breath even though I had been under water. My hair was 
wrapped around my face, and I scrabbled at it to get it out of my eyes.

"Blair! BLAIR!" Jim was calling for me, desperation in his voice. "Babe, 
don't do this to me! Don't you goddamn be dead while I'm still alive!"

I had to cough to clear my throat. "Here! I'm here, Jim!" I treaded water, 
not sure in which direction to swim.

"Blair!" My name sounded like a prayer. Suddenly he was there beside me, 
hugging me so tightly I thought my ribs would shatter. "Why aren't you dead?"

"Why aren't *you* dead? The Big Nasty blew us out!" I held on, content to 
stay there in his arms forever. "Oh, god, Jim! It looks like we've got our 
miracle!"

We stared back toward where Isla del Volcan Repugnante should have been. 
There was nothing there. Had the curse finally been lifted? Had the people of 
the little island found peace at last? I didn't care. They could take their 
own chances with fate. Jim had nearly died because of them. 

My lover stared into the darkness that surrounded us in dismay. Well, it 
wasn't as dark for him as it was for me. "I hate to tell you this, Blair, but 
we're gonna drown."

"No. I refuse to believe that. We went through too much together. We're gonna 
be all right!"

Abruptly, there were huge splashes, four of them. Jim's trunks breached the 
ocean's surface and settled to bob lazily a few yards away. "How'd you do 
that?"

"It's a Guide thing, Jim." I grinned at him smugly. I wasn't about to tell 
him I had no clue. A long rope trailed through the water, still fastened to 
one of the trunks. Jim swam to that one, and I swam to the others, retrieving 
them one at a time. He tethered them together, and once our raft was secured, 
we hoisted ourselves aboard. Jim opened one and rummaged for dry clothing. 

We toweled each other off and dressed, too chilled to take advantage just 
then of all the naked flesh available. "Oh, I do like the way you look in my 
clothes, Blair." Jim handed me one of the Coleman lanterns that had been 
packed in that particular trunk. 

"Good thing. These are what I'll be wearing until we make land." Abruptly, I 
asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were a sentinel?"

"I was warned not to, that people would think I was a freak or would be 
afraid of me. Why didn't you tell me you were a guide?" 

"Um... For the same reason?" I was not about to tell him of the futile, 
useless, misguided searches that left me certain that I was the one guide in 
the world who was destined to be without his sentinel. I relaxed onto my 
back, gazed up at the star-spangled sky, and breathed deeply. "Mmmm. Isn't 
this romantic?"

"Yeah. But..."

"What's the matter?"

"I'm still going to die."

"What's wrong with you, Jim?" He tensed, and I rolled to my side. "You never 
told me exactly."

He sat with his right knee crossed over his left leg, leaning on it and 
staring thoughtfully into space. "I have a brain cloud."

Had I heard correctly? "A brain cloud?"

"It's this fog of black tissue." He demonstrated with his hand how it ran 
from his forehead to the base of his skull. "Y'know, maybe I should have 
gotten a second opinion."

"Jim, someone tells you you're going to die from something called a 'brain 
cloud' and you don't get a second opinion? What are you?" I teased. "A 
hypochondriac?"

He wouldn't meet my eyes, and it hit me like a blow to the chest that that 
was how he saw himself. "I just felt so bad for so long, Blair. And Doctor 
Banks..."

"So you listened to some quack who... Wait a second. Doctor Banks? Doctor 
*Simon* Banks?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Simon Banks is my mother's doctor. He doesn't see any other patients; Naomi 
owns him! He set you up!"

"Why would he?" I could see the light go on. "Fuck! So your mother could get 
some asshole to be the hero she needed! And I was so pathetic! I fell into 
their palms like a ripe plum! God, how stupid was that? I let them make me a 
dupe, a pawn!" He stared into the light of the lantern, sliding into a zone.

"Jim, no! Listen to my voice. Come back to me, babe. Jim! Jim! You've got the 
rest of your life ahead of you!"

"The rest of my life. Yes. And I'll be spending it with you." He stared into 
my eyes, and this time I was the one in danger of zoning. His fingers caught 
in my hair and flexed against my scalp. "That's great. But still..."

"What? What is it now?"

"We're on a raft; there's no land in sight." He shook his head and peeked at 
me through his lashes. "I don't know."

"It's always gonna be something with you, isn't it, Jim Ellison?"

"I'll tell you something, babe." A hand dropped to my shoulder and yanked me 
into his arms. The other hand tugged my hair so my face was tipped up. His 
lips were salty, but they were the lips I wanted to kiss for the rest of my 
life. "Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're taking this luggage with us."

I hugged him to me and sighed happily. "I wonder where we'll end up." I 
nestled my head under his chin, content to sail on his steamer trunks for the 
rest of my life if need be.

"Away from the things of man, my love. Away from the things of man."

//And they loved happily ever after...//

~End~