Title: Yummy, Sugar
Author: RunRunGuyDib
Fandom: Askewniverse (Clerks)
Pairing: Dante/Randal (although nothing really happens . . .)
Rating: PG-13 (bad language, oo)
Summary: Randal really wants some Lickamaid.
Archive: Uhm, sure, though I dunno if it's good enough to deserve anyone to archive. If you want it, contact me. (Or if there are any suggestions on where to put it, please contact me. :p)
Email: RunRunGuyDib
Series/Sequel: Nope
Spoilers: None
Web Page: http://somethingpro.tripod.com
Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me. Anything Askewniverse related belongs to Kevin Smith, View Askew, etc. I am not making any money offa this, and that's about all.
Author's note: I feel it is boring and clich&eacuted, but I hope someone will get a kick outta this short short story where nothing really happens. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, Dante, I just thought of--" Randal stopped, seeing Dante push something into his mouth.

He put his hands on his hips. "Why, Dante, did I just catch you pilfering something to eat?" He moved around the counter and sat on the extra stool, looking smug.

Dante held up a colorful package. "No, I paid two whole quarters for this. It almost killed me to do so, but I was starving."

"Sarcasm does not become you, my friend." He peered over. "What you eating?"

"Can't you read?" He shook the package.

"I'm lazy."

"Lickamaid," Dante told him, sighing. He poured the remaining blue sugar on his hand and lazily licked it up, turning back to the article he was reading. Randal just watched him.

Finally, the blond asked, "Was that all?"

Dante peeped into the opening. "Yep."

"I love Lickamaid."

"Do you now?"

"Can I . . . get some of my own?"

"Fifty cents," Dante stated, holding out his hand and flipping a page with the other.

"I don't want to pay!"

"No candy then," he retorted, swaying his hand.

"But! But Lickamaid, Dante!" Randal cried.

"You don't pay, you get nothing." He set his hand down, muttering that it was sticky.

"You're such a prick." Dante shrugged and Randal contemplated.

Silence.

"Please?"

"No."

"Fuck you." The video clerk leaned on his arm, glaring down at the counter, forgetting why he had come into the store in the first place. His eyes wandered in lazy circles as he thought of how he could distract Dante enough to sneak back and steal some. Was it worth it to tell Jay and Silent Bob to cause trouble?

His eyes fell upon Dante's blue-stained hand that laid palm up, the stickiness apparent. (And Dante's laziness to get up and wash it also apparent.)

He grinned. "I know . . ."

"What?" Dante replied, distracted.

Randal reached over and took hold of the other man's hand, leading it up to his mouth.. Dante didn't seem to notice or care, that is until Randal's wet tongue dragged along the palm.

"The fuck?!" Dante jerked to the side, trying to pull his hand away, but Randal kept a tight hold. He lowered the hand away from his mouth, however, as Dante shouted, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Licking your hand," blunt.

"Why?!"

"It's nummy." He smirked, lifted it with a tug, and swiped his tongue over it once more.

"Stop licking my hand!" Dante cried, turning red. Randal did NOT do so three more times. "Stop!"

"Hey, it's your--" lick "--fault for eating Lickamaid."

Lick. WHAP!

Dante's free hand hit Randal square in the forehead, stunning him briefly. The dark haired man retrieved his foreign-spit covered hand. "Fucking weirdo! Lick my hand again, I'll shove a Lickamaid stick up your ass!"

Randal's eyes opened wide in feigned hope. "Seriously!"

"Don't push it," Dante muttered, closing the magazine and cautiously picking up another, his eye on Randal. When the blond didn't make any sort of move for a minute or so, Dante slightly let down his guard and went through the Seventeen magazine. (Hey, when bored you do whatever to alleviate it, even when it means learning if you should wear winter or summer make-up. . . . Dante was winter.)

Randal allowed a few peaceful moments to pass before he carefully reached over, making sure Dante wouldn't catch the movement till too late. He struck! Gripping Dante's chin, pinching the cheeks, Randal gently turned Dante's face toward him, the other man's eyes rounded in anger and question.

"You're messy. You got some all over your lips."

"Wuh?"

Randal leaned forward, the tip of his tongue protruding from his slightly opened mouth, and he lightly licked Dante's lower lip.

Dante couldn't utter a sound.

Smiling, encouraged, he sweeped over Dante's lower lip again, only with more force. He then went up to his upper lip, and finished the circle. Eyes closed, he shut his mouth and ran his tongue over his own lips, making a delicious sound. "Yum, I love blue raspberry."

Dante didn't reply.

'Maybe he died,' Randal chuckled to himself, leaning in again for another taste, but this time his tongue probed further into his friend's mouth, taking in as much taste as he could from the frozen man. Swipe, swirl. 'Holy fuck, if he'd cooperate it'd be much . . ' He pulled back, licking his lips again, murmuring, " . . . better." He released Dante's face and straightened in his chair, smiling slyly.

Dante's mouth gaped open and closed, like a fish, until finally he blinked and shook his head, hemming and trying to rub the flush from his face. "You little dipshit. Go get one, for fuck's sake, if you're THAT desperate for pure sugar."

"Thank you!" he chirped, standing. "That's all I ask."

Randal walked out from the counter, heading for the candy display. At the counter, Dante couldn't help but to smile, bit by bit. Coughing, he called out, "Hey! Grab ME another one, too!"

The End