Title: The Girlfriends Part 1 Author: Pip's Sister Fandom: Crossover of Spider-Man the Movie and Chasing Amy Pairing: Alyssa/MJ Rating: NC-17 for language, mild violence and f/f sex (in later chapters). Archive: Yes, but please tell me first. KSlash and ORP need not ask. E-Mail: felicitypirrip@yahoo.com Disclaimer: Mary Jane Watson and Peter "Spider-Man" Parker are property of Marvel Comics and Sam Raimi and Columbia Tri-Star pictures own the rights to them. Alyssa Jones, Tricia Jones, Holden McNeil, Banky Edwards, Steve-Dave Pulsati and Walt "Fanboy" Grover are property of Kevin Smith and the Askewniverse. They are used without permission for non-profit purposes. Michael Jenkins, Brian Devlin, Jennifer Adams, and the nameless dopes are all mine. And if you can tell me where those three names came from, you get No-Prizes. :-) Notes: Femslash. Please don't flame because it's femslash. Go read something else. If you want to break this down intelligently and then tell me that I suck, though, go right ahead. This story takes place after Spider-Man and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but I kinda fudged around with times a bit (i.e. the opening of Bluntman and Chronic takes place in 2002 instead of 2000.). Oh, and two more things. I never read the Bluntman and Chronic comic book, so I pretty much made up the little scene in the movie. Sorry if that upsets anyone. Also, I took some elements from Peter David's Spider-Man movie novelization. You'll see if you've read it. So just bear with me and enjoy this. Also, I'm a comic book fan, so there's a lot of comic/comic industry in-jokes. Also, the names of minor characters have relevance. So keep your eyes peeled. There's a lot of fun stuff in this one. This fanfic was written in the name of ORP. (http://orp.deep-ice.com) Acknowledgements: For Joanne C, who gave out the Alyssa/MJ challenge. I've finally gotten around to it. ========================================================================== "What am I doing here?" Mary Jane Watson asked herself as she attempted to peer over the loud mass of people in front of her. She tried to assess the situation. Okay, so there were two workers at the snack stand and. how many people in front of her? The numbers seemed somewhere between eight and twelve. The three guys in front of her looked like they were together (she guessed this by the way they were all punching and laughing at each other), so did the guy and girl in front of them (they were holding hands), and the man holding a crying child (twenty dollars said that guy would be running out of the theater about ten minutes in when he realized that Bluntman and Chronic had slightly dirtier mouths than Superman). So if you divided those groups by two, multiplied by the excruciatingly slow pace these two workers were going. Mary Jane would get her popcorn in. Eh, she was never good at math, anyway. Mary Jane sighed and rolled her eyes. Why had she agreed to come here, anyway? Stupid question. This outing was all Michael's idea. That was smart of her, by the way. Right when she's trying to get over her superhero crush and her superhero adventures who does she decide to date? A comic book fan. Good one. Truth be told, she was definitely not excited about watching superhero movies any time soon, even Beavis and Butthead-style superheroes like Bluntman and Chronic. Could she help it if. "Hey!" Mary Jane barely had time to blink when one of the guys in front of her stepped back, tripping a young woman behind him. The woman fell forward with a shout, accidentally dumping her popcorn over Mary Jane in the process. "Oh God, I'm so sorry!" The young woman, a cute, petite brunette with dark eyes, immediately ran to Mary Jane's side. "I just tripped. I'm really, really sorry." Mary Jane just stared blankly at the grease stains on her outfit. "That's okay," she said, trying to mask her disappointment. "I'm sure it's not too bad." "No, I. Do you need something? I can get you some wet napkins, or." "God, Tricia! I can't leave you alone for two seconds, can I?" Mary Jane looked at the person who spoke and almost gasped. Wow. Tricia was cute, but this woman was incredibly pretty. Her short, straight blonde hair made a lovely contrast to her round face, and her blue eyes sparkled whenever she smiled. And she had a great smile. The woman stepped forward as Tricia mumbled a sarcastic protest. "You have to excuse my sister," she said. "Tricia's grown up a lot, but she still can't walk too long without tripping over her own feet." "It's okay, really." Mary Jane smiled a bit as Tricia shot an irritated glance at the woman. "Like I said, I'm sure it's not too bad." The woman shook her head. "Look, what are you in line for?" "A large popcorn." "Extra butter?" "And salt." "Good for you," the woman flashed a smile and pulled ten dollars out of her purse. "Tricia, do you think you could get this girl a large popcorn with extra butter and salt? I'll go help her clean this up." "Oh no, don't do that," said Mary Jane. "This line is really long, and I'm sure you two want to go get your seats." "No, no." said Tricia. "It's fine. Plus, I'm not really excited about this movie. It was all Alyssa's idea." Alyssa smiled and stuck her tongue out at Tricia. "Whiner. Anyway." Alyssa grabbed Mary Jane's arm, causing the red head to smile a little. "Let's go, shall we?" With that, Alyssa pulled Mary Jane out of the crowd and into the rusting, obnoxiously green and yellow ladies' room. "You really don't have to do this," Mary Jane insisted as Alyssa wet a paper towel and dabbed it on Mary Jane's shirt. "Oh no, it's okay. We're in no rush. And besides, in a film like this - late entry usually means front-row seats." Mary Jane smiled. "You say that like it's a good thing." "It sure is. After all, I never get front row seats at Broadway shows." Mary Jane sighed. "Did I say something?" asked Alyssa. Mary Jane's blinked when she realized Alyssa heard her. "Oh, it's nothing. I just. eh, it's not important." Alyssa's lip curled a bit, then she shrugged. "Whatever you say. So. what's a girl like you doing alone at a movie like this? Are you one of those mythical female comic book fans, so reviled by the likes of psychotic fanboys and Hal Roth?" "Who?" "Never mind. You just answered my question." Mary Jane sighed and shook her head. "I'm not a comic book fan. And I'm not alone, either. I'm here with my boyfriend." "You are? And where is he?" "Getting tickets and leaving me to be to be splattered by rogue women with popcorn." "Ah-ha!" Alyssa smiled and nodded as she wet another paper towel. "I should have known. Anyway, if you had to ask about Hal Roth you're probably not a comic book fan." "I guess you are?" asked Mary Jane. "Well. sort of." "Sort of?" Alyssa blushed slightly. "I'm a comic book writer/artist." Mary Jane's mouth almost dropped open. "You write this?" Alyssa let out a huge laugh. "Wow, you really aren't a comic book fan. No, I used to know the guys who wrote this. I write Idiosyncratic Routine." "Idiosyncratic Routine? I've never heard of it." "Most haven't. It's an indie book, ignored by the greater comic book public and Wizard magazine. But I get a good review in the Sequential Tart every once in awhile and that keeps me happy." Mary Jane just stared, causing Alyssa to laugh once more. "I'm sorry, I did it again." Alyssa crumpled up the napkins in her hand and threw them in the trash. "Well. how do you think that looks?" Mary Jane blinked. "Oh!" she looked at her shirt. "Yeah, I guess that's the best we can do. Thank you, Alyssa." Alyssa nodded. "Hey, when you find your boyfriend, feel free to sit next to us. I can clue you in on the comic book lingo." "I think I can recognize a fart joke when I see it." That prompted another laugh. "You have quite a wit for a. how old are you?" "Eighteen." Alyssa's eyes widened. "Eighteen? Now I'm even more impressed." Mary Jane shrugged. "I knew a funny guy once." "Only once?" Alyssa flashed a cheeky smile. Mary Jane just sighed. "Mmmm. long story." "Care to tell it?" "I-" Mary Jane stopped when she heard the door open and Tricia popped her head in. "Alyssa! The movie's about to start. You coming or are you and. and. what's your name?" "Mary Jane." Alyssa blinked. "Mary Jane? Where are you from, Pleasantville?" Mary Jane shook her head. "Queens." "Ah. Well, you go get your popcorn, Mary. But I really enjoyed talking to you, and if you ever want to give me a call." Alyssa reached into her pocketbook and pulled out a business card. "Here's my number." She pinched Mary Jane's cheek as they walked out of the bathroom. "And like I said: if you want to sit next to us, feel free. Come on, Tricia." Tricia handed Mary Jane the popcorn and the two sisters walked away. Mary Jane smiled and couldn't help but feel a little wistful. ~*~*~ "This has too much salt," Michael Jenkins complained as he and Mary Jane pushed their way through the crowd. "Well then you should have gotten the popcorn," Mary Jane chided as she pulled her foot out of a sticky patch in the floor. "And why are you sneaking popcorn before the show starts, anyway?" "Start the show!" screamed a male voice. "Well, you put so much butter on it and it dripped on my hand." "Right, Michael," Mary Jane's eyes scanned over the center rows' seats. "I actually went behind the counter and squirted the butter on myself." Michael sighed and threw back his head. "Fine, I'm sorry. Can we just find a seat?" "I'm looking for my friends." "Your friends?" "Those women who dumped popcorn on me." "Some friends." "Start the show!" someone yelled. "Tell 'em, Steve-Dave!" "Stop it. They're really nice," Mary Jane took another glance around the theater. The house lights flashed. "That's it. We have to take our seats." Mary Jane's face fell, but she nodded and they took two seats in the next row. The movie was everything that Mary Jane expected. Unfortunately, she wasn't expecting much. The script was weak, the special effects looked fake, and what was up with that giant spider? She sighed and checked her watch for the fifteenth time. Maybe if she tried to fall asleep. "Let the bitch go, Cock-Licker!" Mary Jane's eyes shot up to the screen. Bluntman and Chronic were standing on the top of a building. They glared angrily at the villain, who held a dark-haired, huge breasted woman in his arms. "It's Cock-Knocker!" The villain sneered as the woman struggled and thrashed against his chest. "And if you wanted me to let your poor Brandy go, you should have just said so." With that, the villain threw the now-screaming Brandy over the edge of the building. Mary Jane suddenly stood up and left. "Mary Jane. Mary Jane!" Michael. Mary Jane ignored him and continued to walk out of the theater. "Mary Jane. Mary Jane!" He grabbed her shoulder and Mary Jane turned around. "M.J. What's wrong?" Mary Jane sighed. "Look, Michael. You're. you're a great guy, but this is all wrong." "What?" Michael's mouth dropped open. "What. How?" "It's. It's not you, it's me. I just. I just can't be in a relationship right now. I'm sorry." Michael's surprised expression turned to confusion. "And you tell me this in the middle of a movie?" "I. I'm sorry." "Is something on your mind?" Mary Jane nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot on my mind." "Well, I can help." She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry, but you can't. Good-bye, Michael. I'm really sorry." Mary Jane turned and walked away. He followed for a few blocks, but eventually the footsteps stopped. When Mary Jane turned around, he was gone. ~*~*~ "Next!" Three weeks had passed when Mary Jane walked out from behind the dark green curtain and out onto the brightly-lit stage. She looked out into the auditorium and five well-dressed men and two well-dressed women stared back at her. "Hi," she said. "I'm Mary Jane Watson." The man in the center, presumably the director, Brian Devlin, nodded impatiently. Mary Jane sighed, closed her eyes, and opened them. "This is the sort of thing that I never thought would happen to me. I mean-" Mary Jane lowered her eyes, then peered up as if she was looking into someone's eyes. "These last three months were the best of my life. I love you so much, Jim. I-" "Stop," said one of the women (she guessed this woman was Jennifer Adams, the casting director). "What are you doing?" Mary Jane felt her stomach leap into her throat. "Pardon me?" "This is a declaration of love, Miss Watson," said Devlin. "You sound like he's about to dump you. Read it lighter." "Lighter?" Mary Jane asked. "Elisa's an abuse victim. I know she's usually good natured, but this is the first guy she's ever loved. Wouldn't it be hard for her to express her feelings?" "Yes," said Adams. "But you're not reading a eulogy here. Just make it a little lighter." Mary Jane took a deep breath and tried again. "This is the sort of thing that I never thought-" "Stop." Devlin this time. "Too dramatic. Try again." "This is the sort of-" "I'm sorry." Mary Jane's face fell as Devlin rubbed his eyes. "Look, Miss Watson. You have potential as an actress, but you simply can't give us what we're looking for. Your readings sound either disillusioned or overly dramatic. They sound false. I suggest you go home, live your life a bit more, work on this, and maybe I'll hire you for my next play. As it stands, you're just not what I'm looking for. Thank you. Next!" ~*~*~ "At least he didn't tell me to settle down and find a nice man to take care of me," Mary Jane told herself as she stared blankly into her coffee. She lifted her head and glanced about the small coffee house. It was dark and crowded, full of couples and friends and people dressed in black who talked about their "angry lesbian cunt" and some "dark stranger whose eyes met mine across a crowded room." Mary Jane's first reaction was to sneer and chide them for calling themselves artists, but then she remembered her own non-existent acting career and suddenly became humble. Maybe they were right. Maybe she had no talent. Maybe this was her whole life. Another pseudo-artist began to read a "poem" and Mary Jane winced. She needed something to keep her mind off this crap. Her eyes glanced at a nearby table and saw a newsletter laying on it. Well, it was better than nothing. Mary Jane reached over and took the newsletter off the table. She flipped through it. Ads. Letters. Article about possible park renovations. More ads. She turned to another page and blinked. "Idiosyncratic Routine?" she whispered. Where had she heard that before? She read the article. Idiosyncratic Routine was a humor comic about a woman named Kerry and her life and new friends in the big city. The writer and artist, Alyssa Jones, was born in Middletown, NJ and the book was taken from her own experiences of living in. wait a minute. Alyssa Jones? Alyssa Jones. Alyssa Jones. Alyssa Jones! Now she remembered! That pretty woman from the movie. "Wow." Mary Jane smiled. She never thought she'd hear of that name again. Then again. Mary Jane rustled through her purse, her newly painted fingernails pushing keys, make up, and various papers aside and. Mary Jane's fingers wrapped around a limp card, folded and dirtied by weeks among her belongings. Should she.? Well, Alyssa did say she could. Then again, Mary Jane doubted she would remember. "Oh, why not?" Mary Jane pulled out her cell phone and dialed in the number. Mary Jane took a deep breath as she heard the phone ring once. Twice. (Her heart was pounding and she wondered why.) Then three times. ("Maybe this was a bad idea.") Four. "Hello?" Mary Jane inhaled sharply. "Hi. Alyssa Jones? This is Mary Jane Watson." "Mary Jane-?" "The popcorn girl?" "The pop-oh! Yeah, you're the cute girl from the Bluntman and Chronic movie." Mary Jane smiled and blushed slightly. "How are you, babe? I didn't think you'd call. What happened?" Mary Jane's brow furrowed. "Excuse me?" "Well, it's in my experience that when a girl gives someone a number and they don't call until months after, it's usually because of two things. One, she's forgotten all about you. Or two, something distressing happened and she has." Alyssa let out a dramatic sigh that made Mary Jane smile. ". No where else to turn." "Well, maybe a little bit of both." "Oh? So what's up? And why'd you call me?" "Well." Mary Jane sighed and shrugged. "What's up is I just lost at an audition. As for why I called you. Well, I'm at this café and I saw a newsletter for your comic." "What café?" asked Alyssa. "The Java Hut?" "Really? You're kidding. I live a few blocks away!" Mary Jane laughed. "Really? Wow." "Uh-huh. Hey, sit tight. I'll come get you." Mary Jane smiled and shrugged. "Okay." ~*~*~ "So you're an actress?" Alyssa took a sip of her French vanilla coffee. "Well, a slashie these days." "A slashie? Is that anything like a slasher?" "A what?" Alyssa waved her hand. "Never mind." She placed her cup of coffee back on its saucer. "What's a slashie?" "An actor-slash-model? You know, like in." "Oh, Zoolander!" "Yeah." Alyssa laughed. "Now I remember. So you model, too?" "Sometimes," Mary Jane sighed. "I had a few gigs for some specialty magazines. ads in Women's Golf for one." Alyssa laughed again. "Oh boy." "Yeah, I know. Oh well, it's money. And I guess it's either that or something bizarre like Military Babes." "You think that's bizarre? Ever heard of Giantess? Or Knocked Up and Gun Toting?" Mary Jane almost choked on her coffee. "What? Knocked Up and. what?" "A friend of an old friend had that book. Basically, it's a bunch of pictures of enormously pregnant naked women brandishing even more enormous guns. Specialty porn." Mary Jane grimaced. "Lovely. I think I'll stick to Women's Golf for now." "Probably a good idea." Alyssa smiled and took another sip of coffee. "Mmmm." Mary Jane glanced at the newsletter. "So. you write comic books?" Alyssa smiled. "Mmm-hmm. Not the whole big pecks, big guns, big tits type of book but. I write comics, nevertheless." "The comic did look kind of unconventional." "You know, you may say that, but there were actually a lot of romance and girl books in the 60's. Millie the Model, Tessie the Typist, Patsy Walker. You'll rarely find them in the back-issue bins at Brodie's Secret Stash, but girl books like mine aren't new." "Oh, I don't know." Mary Jane pointed to a picture of two women holding hands which accompanied the article. "I doubt anything like this ever happened in Patsy Walker." Alyssa laughed and shook her head. "I dunno, I always thought something was going on between her and her best friend Hedy." Mary Jane laughed as well. "Sheesh." "Yeah, but I like my job. Being an indie doesn't pay as much as working for a comic publisher like Marvel, but it's fulfilling in other ways. I have my fans. All three of them." "Hee. Yeah, I suppose there aren't many female fans of comics." "Please. Most of the industry is dominated by a bunch of white guys. Marginally attractive white guys." Mary Jane made a face. "Lack of fans and dates, then." "Well, not necessarily." Mary Jane's eyes widened. "Oh." "Eh, never mind." Alyssa reached into her purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "It's a long story." "I don't mind," insisted Mary Jane. Alyssa sighed and pulled out a cigarette. "Well, to start off." She lit the cigarette and inhaled. "I usually don't date men." Mary Jane blinked. "Does that mean you don't like to date or that -you" Alyssa blew out a cloud of smoke. "Date women? Yes." Mary Jane blushed slightly. "I. Heh." "What?" Alyssa's brow furrowed. "That doesn't bother you, does it?" "Oh no!" Mary Jane shook her head. "No. It just. it just gives a whole new meaning to my phone call." Alyssa smiled. "Well, we don't have to do anything, you know." "Excuse me?" Alyssa leaned her arms on the table and smiled at Mary Jane. "Look. I won't lie to you, Mary Jane. I think you're very cute. But that doesn't mean we have to go beyond friends. However. I know a great ice cream parlor. One without this." Alyssa lowered her voice to a whisper. ".really bad poetry." She spoke normally, "Would you like to go?" Mary Jane's heart skipped a beat. This woman was asking her out on a date? Well, not really a date, but sort of. God, this was weird. What would she? How does.? Oh, come on! Mary Jane smiled. "Okay. But I want to hear about this comic book date." ~*~*~ "He asked for a threesome?" Alyssa nodded sadly. The two women sat in Serendipity's, eating cookies and cream ice cream as Alyssa finished her story. "Sheesh." Mary Jane shook her head. "Why would he ask that?" "For a lot of reasons," Alyssa licked another glob of ice cream off of her plastic spoon. "He thought it would give him experience, most of all. But he also thought it would bring Banky, me. and him, back together." She sighed and looked away for a moment. "But those things? They rarely work out the way you want. And I knew that. So I told him good-bye." Mary Jane lowered her head in sympathy. God, that sounded so rough. "Did you ever see him again?" she asked. "Yeah. A year later at the same convention. He wrote a comic book about us." Alyssa shook her head. "I still have it. I wrapped it in Mylar and did all that special stuff you do whenever you just landed your special mint copy of Action Comics #1 or whatever. The truth is the comic probably costs about a dollar. Not to me." Mary Jane nodded. "I. wow." Alyssa smiled. "Well, enough about me. How's your love life?" Mary Jane shook her head. "Practically non-existent." "A pretty girl like you?" Alyssa laughed. "Please. You don't strike me as a wallflower. You must have dated a little bit." "Well dated, yes," Mary Jane ate another spoonful. "Love? That's a different story." "Not at all?" Mary Jane paused, then sighed and ate two more spoonfuls. "I thought I did. but, well, he didn't see it that way." "Mmm." Alyssa nodded and ate another scoop. "Been there, done that, brought the T-shirt." Mary Jane sighed. "It's just. I thought. we shared all these moments. I could have sworn but." she hung her head. "He just wanted to be friends." Mary Jane placed another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. Alyssa smiled and nodded. "He's gay." Mary Jane choked on her ice cream. "Woah! Hey!" Alyssa ran over to Mary Jane's side and pounded her on the back. "Are you okay?" Mary Jane hacked, and then gulped. "I. I. I don't think he's gay." "It was just a suggestion." Mary Jane sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe we've had enough ice cream," Alyssa suggested. "Would you like me to walk you home?" Mary Jane pushed red locks of hair out of her face. "What is this? You want to be the man in this relationship?" Alyssa laughed. "Noooo. I'm a woman. I'm just a woman who wants to walk you home." Mary Jane shrugged. "Sure." ~*~*~ The night had turned cool, and Mary Jane could smell a hint of oncoming rain in the air. The streetlamps shone like little suns along the streets, and the lights from countless windows seemed like the stars. Something moved across the rooftops and Mary Jane flinched. "Is something wrong?" "Huh?" Mary Jane shook her head and squinted at the rooftops. "No I just. Just got a little shock." Alyssa smiled. "So, where do you live?" "Just a boring apartment," Mary Jane smiled. "Live alone." "Oh?" asked Alyssa. "I thought someone your age would be living in a college dorm or something." Mary Jane shook her head. "Nope. I live alone. I kind of have to after I told my Dad to shove it." "Bad home life?" "To say the least." "Care to talk?" Mary Jane shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it just depresses me. Life at home had been so rough. and, well. I thought I'd be glad to be out, you know? On my own to live and love like I wanted, but I'm out of love and my career is largely dead." "Well." Alyssa lit a cigarette. "Let me tell you something. Out of work actresses aren't exactly a rare breed. Same with out of work comic book artists. You just have to keep working at it, M.J. Good things do happen." "I guess." Mary Jane smiled as Alyssa rubbed two fingers against her cheek. "Sure it does." "Oh!" Mary Jane stopped. "Here's my place." Alyssa looked up at the three-story apartment building, her expression a bit sad. "Ah, I see." She turned back to Mary Jane. "I had a great night, by the way." Mary Jane nodded. "Me too." They stood in front of the steps leading up to Mary Jane's apartment building, but Mary Jane did not go in. "I. I really had a great time," said Mary Jane. "Me too." They stood in front of the steps leading up to Mary Jane's apartment building, but Alyssa did not leave. "We should do this again." "Yeah." Neither moved. "Alyssa?" "Yes?" "How old are you?" "Thirty-two." Mary Jane bit her lip. "I'm eighteen." "I know. Does that bother you?" Mary Jane thought for a minute. "No." She stepped into Alyssa's arms. They kissed, and Mary Jane could feel the storm's first raindrops on her hair. To Be Continued.