Title: Love Has No Expiration Date
Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com)
Fandom: Clerks, the movie (Askewniverse)
Pairing: Dante/Randal
Rating: NC-17 overall
Archive: Yes to list archives, otherwise ask.
Summary: Dante does something stupid and Randal finds out, which leads to good results.
Series/sequel: Nope. 
Spoilers: For the movie Clerks, and a very minor one for Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Disclaimer: I am soooo Kevin Smith's bitch. Although I'd rather be Mosier's... *ahem* Not mine, 
Kevin's. Don't sue, I'm broke. Not making any money off of this.
Notes: It started out as a simple little thing where Veronica played matchmaker for Dante and 
Randal, but then the characters took over... And hey, anyone want some Walt/Steve-Dave bunnies?
Dedication: As always, much gratitude and love to Random and Saone, my betas and cheerleaders. 
This is also for TV's Bialy, the biggest Dante/Randal 'shipper I know. One of her pieces of D/R 
art inspired a little moment in the fic.

***************

"I'm so glad we were able to work everything out," Veronica said as she started shaving her legs.
She waited for a moment for Dante's reply, but there was none. That was odd. She mentally 
shrugged and continued talking. "Are you sure you won't come with me to the college and talk to 
a counselor? I know you're tired of hearing about it, but you don't need an appointment and 
they're very helpful."

Veronica was so happy to have her man back in her life. They had worked out the "Caitlin issue," 
so that was no longer a threat. They had talked everything out, over one long night.

Dante tried to shut out Veronica's voice as he rolled over the bed to where his jeans had fallen 
the night before. He fished around in the pockets until he found what he was looking for. A 
creased, well-worn picture of Randal, smiling at the camera.

He rolled back to the middle of the bed, and held Randal's picture up with his left hand. 
Dante's other hand slipped under the sheets and into his boxers. He squeezed his stiffening cock 
as he took in the familiar sight of Randal once more. Oh, how he wished he could run his fingers 
through Randal's hair while he held him in his arms. But Dante knew that would never happen, 
because he was sure that Randal didn't feel that way about him.

Dante shoved such thoughts aside and focused on the fantasy. "Oh, Randal." he moaned as he 
started to stroke his dick. He imagined deeply kissing Randal, his goatee and mustache bristling 
against the smooth skin on Randal's face as they kissed. Dante closed his eyes, and gave in to 
the fantasy.

In Dante's mind, he slipped his hands under Randal's shirt, trailing his fingers up and down the 
smooth skin.

Veronica finished shaving her legs and walked out of the bathroom. "Dante, are you okay? You 
never answered my question." Her voice trailed off as she saw Dante.

"Oh my God! Dante, what are you doing?"

The picture of Randal fluttered to the floor, forgotten.

"Veronica! I, um." Dante's voice trailed off as he sat up in the bed. He made sure the sheets 
covered his crotch as he frantically tried to think of an explanation.

"Don't I satisfy you? Don't I take care of you in bed? To find you doing this, while I'm getting 
ready for school, is insulting! And in the bed we share, too!"

"Veronica, I can explain!" He leaned over the bed and hunted for his jeans. Finding them, he 
hastily got dressed and out of bed.

"Okay, I'm listening. Go ahead." Veronica stood there, trying to hold back the anger.

"I was just thinking of you, and I just couldn't help myself. You're so hot and sexy that I 
couldn't wait for you."

"Well why didn't you say so, Dante? Jesus! You're forgiven. Just try to make sure it doesn't 
happen again, okay? I mean, I think you're really hot too, but c'mon!"

Dante's shoulders sagged with relief. She had believed him!

Veronica turned to head back to the bathroom when she stepped on the picture of Randal. She 
heard the photo crumple under her foot, and bent down to pick it up. "Dante, what's this picture 
of Randal doing here?"

Dante tried to think of a reasonable explanation for the presence of the picture of Randal.

"I'm waiting," Veronica said. As she waited, she began to think. She had found Randal's picture 
close to where Dante had been lying in the bed. She realized what Dante had been doing. "Oh my 
God, Dante! Randal *was* right about you being gay!"

Veronica slapped him and then began shoving him out of the bedroom and towards the front door.

"But Veronica, I love you! That picture of Randal doesn't mean anything! I swear!"

"Get out of here! Dante Hicks, I never want to see you again!"

Veronica continued to push him in the direction of the front door, ignoring the protests from 
Dante. She opened up the door and shoved him outside. Veronica slammed the door, but realized 
that she still had the photo of Randal in her hand. She opened the door and found Dante standing
there, looking like a wounded puppy.

Dante's expression changed as he heard the door open again. "Veronica! I'm so glad you changed 
your mind!"

"You forgot your boyfriend, you jerk!" she told him, slamming the picture of Randal into his 
chest. Veronica slammed the door one more time, leaving Dante alone, outside.

Dante stumbled back a few feet, stunned by what had happened.

Somehow, he found his way to his car, and got inside. Dante started up the Crown Victoria, its 
engine rumbling. Instinctively, he drove, half-blinded by tears, back to the house he shared 
with his parents. They were out, so he didn't have to explain why he had been crying.

Dante crawled into his bed and pulled the covers up. Soon, I'll wake up and this will all have 
been a bad dream, he told himself. He had nearly drifted off to sleep when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Dante paused to listen to the voice on the other end. "What do you mean he can't come 
in this afternoon? Are you sure?" He sighed heavily as he listened to the response. "Fine. I'll 
be in by two." The voice on the other end spoke again. "What? You want me to close, too?!" Dante 
sighed again and agreed.

He hung up the phone and slammed back down on the bed. This was turning out to be the perfect 
day, he sarcastically noted. How could he face Randal at work? Randal would take one look at him 
and know something was wrong.

Dante got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and 
tried to think of something to tell Randal when he asked.

An hour or so later, Dante pulled into the lot of the local Snappy Snack Shack. He knew his ass 
would be fired if the boss caught him there, but they made really great coffee. He considered it 
his daily spitting of water at life.

He was pouring his coffee when someone bumped into him. Dante sloshed a bit of the dark brown 
liquid on the floor, narrowly missing his shoes. He turned to apologize to whoever it was, and 
nearly dropped his cup.

"Well, well. If it isn't Randal Graves's little friend."

"Tell 'em Steve-Dave!"

"Shut up, Walt," Steve-Dave told the shorter man. Turning to Dante, he asked, "So, the coffee at 
QuickStop isn't good enough for you? You have to come to the Snappy Snack Shack, near our 
store?"

Dante sighed. "Look, all I want to do is get my coffee and get to work. I could care less if 
Randal insulted the two of you while buying some rare Star Wars figure at your store."

Steve-Dave looked at Walt. "What did Randal call us again?"

"I think it was 'Twink Nazis'," was the reply. "And I'm pretty sure he called your mom a 'Kitten 
Groper.'"

Steve-Dave glared at Walt. "Shut up!" Turning his attention back to Dante, he pointed at him and 
told him, "You tell Graves to stay away from our store or else we'll kick his ass."

Dante shrugged and walked away. "Whatever," he muttered as he headed for the counter to pay for 
his coffee.

"You told him, Steve-Dave!"

"I *know* I did," was the exasperated reply. "C'mon, let's get this shit paid for and then we 
need to get to the store. Ever since Brodie opened his store, we've been losing business. We've 
got to come up with some way to get our customers back."

Outside of the Snappy Snack Shack, Jay was consoling Silent Bob.

"I told you we would go to the video store and see if they had a copy. Now stop crying like some 
little girl with a skinned knee!"

Bob pulled a tissue from a pocket in his coat and wiped his eyes. He looked over at Jay.

"C'mon, let's go! We'll never get there if we have to stop every damn time you start crying. 
It's just a video!" Jay grabbed Bob's crotch and gave it a squeeze. "And then we can get back 
to what we were doing before. Mmm. Yeah," he whispered as he flicked his tongue in Bob's ear. 

*****************

Randal shuddered as he hit stop. "Bea Arthur doing a musical number in the Mos Eisley cantina. 
There are some things man should never see."

He got up and walked out of RST Video, locking the door like he always did. A few steps later 
and he was in the QuickStop.

"So, are you gonna tell me what's bothering you?" As he waited for Dante 's response, he grabbed 
a Yoo-Hoo out of the refrigerated case.

"It's just."

"What? Jesus, Dante! I've known you for years! You can trust me!"

"Veronica caught me." Dante mumbled the rest as his face turned red.

"Caught you on the phone with Caitlin? So what! Tell her that it's part of Caitlin's therapy or 
something. Jeez, man. That's nothing!"

"It wasn't that. It has nothing to do with Caitlin, all right? She caught me. She caught me 
jacking off in her bed!" Dante exploded. His face was even redder, if it was possible.

"So? It wasn't like you were jacking off to a picture of me, or anything."

Randal's question was met by silence from Dante.

"Oh shit! You don't mean."

Dante looked up at Randal and nodded.

"You're kidding me, right? You're fucking kidding! No way!" Randal stepped away from the 
counter. "Sure, I'm a little flattered. But Jesus, Dante!" He headed for the door. "I'd better 
get back to the video store."

The bell tinkled, signaling Randal's exit. Dante didn't notice. He had his head down in his 
arms on the counter, crying.

He raised his head a few minutes later when the bell tinkled again, and he heard a familiar 
voice.

"Patience, yo! I just need to get some rolling papers and whipped cream. Then we can get your 
damn video," Jay told his companion.

Bob sighed and waited for Jay to grab the whipped cream. He looked at Dante's bloodshot eyes and 
runny nose. Dante caught his gaze.

"What? I'm having a bad day!"

Silent Bob shrugged as if to say, "If you don't want to talk about it," and pointedly looked up
at the ceiling until Jay returned from the dairy case.

Jay put the cans of whipped cream on the counter. "A pack of rolling papers and a pack of Nails," he told Dante.

Dante got out the papers and smokes and put them on the counter. He rang up Jay's purchase.

"Pay 'im," Jay commanded Bob.

Bob pulled out a roll of twenties, peeled off a couple and handed them to Dante. He gave Bob the 
change, which Bob tucked away in a pocket. Jay grabbed the bag full of cannisters and tucked the 
Nails and papers into a pocket in his shorts.

As Jay and Silent Bob left, Dante put his head back down in his arms on the counter.

Back in the video store, Randal settled in and tried to focus on the video he was watching. On 
the screen, Princess Leia sang while Chewbacca and his family stood around her. He was still 
trying to decide whether it was better than Episode One when a couple of familiar faces walked 
in.

"Where you keep 'Happy Scrappy Hero Pup' man? This tubby bitch wore out his copy and won't stop 
whining until he gets another," Jay gestured at his companion.

Silent Bob rolled his eyes at this statement.

"Ah, don't lie. You know you've gotta have it, lunchbox."

Randal hit pause on the remote, freezing Leia and the Wookies onscreen. "What the fuck are you 
two doing here? You know you're not allowed to rent here."

"Yeah, Leia's gonna have herself a Wookie orgy, ain't she man? You're watching Star Wars porn, 
aren't you? Fortunately, I've got my own Chewie right here." As Jay said this, he humped Bob's 
leg, the bag of whipped cream cans knocking against the shelves.

"Knock it off!" Randal told Jay. "Yeah, I think we have a copy of that video. I ordered it for 
someone, but they never picked it up." He bent down and checked under the counter. "Here it is. 
'Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.' Y'know, I heard that the two of you were into some sick shit, but this 
is too much." He shook his head in disbelief as he rang up the purchase.

"Pay the man," Jay said to Bob.

Silent Bob again pulled out a roll of twenties from inside his coat and peeled one off. He gave 
it to Randal and then picked up the video. Bob tucked it gently in a pocket of his jacket.

Jay turned as he opened the door. "So, did you and the loser next door break up, or something? 
We stopped in there for a pack of smokes and he was sobbing like the girly-man he is. If I was 
you, I'd get him to stop crying somehow. It's bad for business."

After they left, Randal tried to finish the Star Wars Holiday Special, but he couldn't keep his 
mind on the "Life Day" celebration Chewbacca and his family had going on. He kept thinking about 
Dante, just a few steps away, crying. Randal hit stop on the remote and got up. He went outside 
and locked up RST Video. Randal walked the few steps over to the QuickStop, not sure how he was 
going to get Dante to stop crying, only sure that he would do it somehow.

The bell over the door tinkled, signalling Randal's return. Dante looked up to see who it was. 
"Oh, it's you," he sighed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "Come to mock me? Did you come to 
get Caitlin Bree's phone number so you could call her up and tell her that her ex-boyfriend is 
a fag?"

"Jesus, Dante! Can't I come in and check on you? You're my best friend, and I care about you."

Randal stepped behind the counter with Dante. He handed Dante a couple of tissues. "Here."

Dante used the tissues and looked at Randal with bloodshot eyes. "So, you're okay with what I 
did?"

"Well, I think your timing sucks," he joked. Randal grabbed Dante by the shoulders. "Of course 
I'm okay with it, I love you, man!" Lowering his voice a bit, and making sure he looked into 
Dante's eyes, he asked, "Why don't you come over to my place tonight after work? We can talk 
about this some more without worrying about the consumer element."

Dante smiled and nodded.

"See you tonight," Randal told him as he walked out. 

************

Dante hesitated as he reached Randal's door. What's the big deal? I've been to Randal's place 
plenty of times, this should be no different.

But he realized that this time was different. Randal knew about the crush Dante had on him, and 
Dante knew that changed everything about their friendship. He took a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in," Randal called out. "It's open."

Dante opened the door and stepped into Randal's apartment. Same as it always was, with Star Wars 
action figures mint on card decorating some of the walls, and a small shrine to the trilogy 
Randal loved so well. Dante smiled with relief as Randal walked out of the kitchen, drying his 
hands.

"Go on, sit down," he told Dante. "Why so tense?" Randal asked as he tossed the dish towel over 
his shoulder and back into the kitchen.

"Ah well, you know." Dante began to reply as he sat down on the only couch Randal had. He tried 
not to jump as Randal sat down next to him.

"What, that whole thing with you and the photo of me? It's no big deal, really," he told Dante. 
"All I want to know is, how long have you felt this way?"

Dante felt his face redden because of Randal's question. He tried to calculate how many years it 
had been since they first met. "I-I guess since we first met," was his stammered reply.

"Jesus! All those years, and you've done nothing but furtively masturbate to pictures of me 
every now and then? You never once thought that I might have similar feelings? That I might be 
hurt every time I saw Veronica or Caitlin come visit you at work?" Randal got up from the couch 
and began to pace around the living room. "It fucking broke my heart when you got back together 
with Veronica, but I wanted whatever was best for you. I wanted what would make you happy, even 
if it was her." Randal stopped and looked at Dante. "So you fucked up and lost what you had with 
her because you couldn't be honest with yourself. I'm sorry that happened."

"Then you understand. You're the one I want, Randal, you're the one who can make me happy!"

"Not so fast, my friend."

Dante was momentarily stunned by what Randal said. Then, without thinking about it, he got off 
of the couch and went over to where Randal was. Pulling Randal close to him, Dante kissed him, 
on the lips.

Randal resisted for a moment, and then gave himself into the kiss, parting his lips so that he 
and Dante could french like mad Scotsmen.

Their tongues dueled momentarily, until Randal gave in and let Dante's tongue gently probe his 
mouth. Randal groaned and reluctantly broke off the kiss.

Dante looked at him quizzingly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Randal grinned. "I just thought we should move someplace a little more comfortable 
is all."

Dante's relief was plain to see. "I thought. It's just that."

"Will you stop with the worrying and kiss me again?"

Dante complied.

Somehow, they made their way into Randal's bedroom and fell on the bed. The two of them 
continued to kiss for a few minutes, just lazily investigating the others' mouth. Randal 
eventually broke it off, despite the noises of protest Dante made.

"If I knew you were this easy, I would have seduced you a long time ago," Randal smirked.

"Seduced me? You didn't seduce me!"

"Didn't I? The world may never know."

"Oh, blow me," was Dante's reply.

"As you wish," Randal told him as he got down on his knees and pulled Dante towards him. He 
pulled down the zipper on Dante's jeans, and gently freed Dante's stiffening cock from the 
confines of his boxers. Randal toyed with it, squeezing it softly and slowly stroking it. Dante 
groaned at Randal's gentle ministrations.

Randal paused for a moment, and then took Dante's hard member into his mouth. Dante moaned as 
the velvet warmth of Randal's mouth enveloped him.

Randal's head began to bob as he let Dante's cock slide in and out of his mouth, never taking 
all of it into his mouth. His tongue lazily tickled the sensitive head of Dante's member, and 
Dante began to buck and writhe .

With a noisy slurp, Randal removed his mouth from Dante's crotch and looked up at him. Dante 
was breathing heavily, and Randal wondered how much longer Dante would last. Randal lowered 
his head one more, and cupped Dante's balls in one of his hands.

He squeezed the sac gently as he traced a random pattern on Dante's shaft with his tongue.

Dante thrust his crotch into Randal's face, getting into a rythym with Randal. They kept this 
up for a few minutes, and then Dante cried out. With one final thrust, he shot his load into 
Randal's mouth, the warm salty taste nearly overwhelming him.

Randal tried not to swallow. After all, he didn't know where Dante had been. He got up and 
walked over to the wastebasket. Randal spit into the trash can, and looked back at Dante, who 
was sighing contendedly on the bed.

Randal climbed back onto the bed and lay down next to Dante. He nipped Dante's ear and 
whispered, "It's your turn now."

Dante smiled shyly as he sat up. He still couldn't believe this was happening, and his hand 
trembled slightly as he reached over to undo Randal's jeans. Dante reached inside Randal's 
underwear and released his stiff member from those confines.

Dante gently stroked it and rubbed his thumb lightly over the head of Randal's cock, which was 
already leaking with pre-ejaculate.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," Randal groaned as Dante squeezed his hard 
cock.

"I know," Dante told him as he released Randal's member for a moment. He slid off the bed and 
got undressed, his dick beginning to get hard again. Randal looked up to see what Dante was 
doing.

"Wha.?"

Dante silenced him as he leaned down for another kiss. He broke off the kiss and told him to get 
undressed.

Randal sat up and did as Dante asked. He settled back down on the bed, looking up expectantly at 
Dante.

"Lie down," Dante told him. Randal complied, and waited.

Dante joined Randal on the bed, and straddled Randal's legs. Sliding up, he leaned down and 
shivered as their cocks touched. Randal groaned as Dante settled on top of him, the hair on 
Dante's chest scratching his smooth skin. Dante caught Randal's mouth in another kiss and began 
to rock back and forth, his cock sliding over Randal's. The friction was exquisite, and Randal 
began to move in sync with Dante.

The bed shook because of their movements, and the pace of their frottage grew faster and faster 
as each minute passed. Eventually, Dante broke off the kiss and cried out again as he came, his 
warm seed spilling all over Randal's torso. Dante continued to thrust along with him until 
Randal reached orgasm as well. Randal's seed joined the cooling puddle on his chest, and Dante 
rolled off of him. They both lay there, breathing heavily for a minute or two. Then, Randal 
turned to face Dante.

"I bet you don't get that kind of performance from my pin up."

Dante smiled and nodded, too exhausted to speak.

As they drifted off to sleep, Dante wondered if Randal wanted to try snowballing next time.

-End-