Title: It's a...
Author: Charles (jcrewguy@gmail.com)
Pairing: Jay/Silent Bob
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Yes to list archives, otherwise ask.
Summary: Jay and Bob get a call they've been waiting for.
Spoilers: For Kevin Smith's "Guardian Devil" arc in Daredevil.
Disclaimer: Jay and Bob and the others aren't mine. They all belong to
Kevin Smith. Not making any money off this.

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Jay had been frantically cleaning the apartment ever since they had
gotten the call. Bongs had been put away, pot stored on high shelves
in the kitchen, and the sex toys, mags and videos had been secreted
away in a locked chest.

Silent Bob had gotten dressed in his one and only suit, trimmed his
beard and put his hair back in a ponytail. Then he'd gone to New York
to pick up the kid. Jay still couldn't believe it. The two of them
were gonna adopt a fuckin' baby.

Of course, it had been a trial with the home examinations and the
interviews and Jay doing his damnedest to keep the cursing under
control when they were being observed. Even Bob had been amazed at the
huge amounts of swear words Jay had spewed once they were alone.

Jay paced nervously while he waited for Bob to return with their kid.
He marvelled at the sound of that. "Their kid." This was a big step,
and Jay knew it. But they were ready. He plopped down on the couch and
tried watching some T.V.. Maybe that would take his mind off of
waiting. But no matter what channel he turned to, all he could think
about was the baby that he and Silent Bob were going to raise. In
their excitement, they had forgotten to ask about the gender of the
infant. But that didn't matter to either of them. They would be happy
with a boy or a girl.

After what seemed like an interminable wait to Jay, the door to their
apartment opened, and there stood Silent Bob, infant in his arms. Jay
thought that his hetero lifemate had never looked hotter. Jay locked
eyes with Silent Bob and the two of them smiled and nodded.

Bob stepped into their apartment and Jay leapt to his feet and quietly
closed the door for him. Jay bounced on his feet while he waited for
Silent Bob to settle down on the couch with their infant. "Her name,"
Silent Bob said, "Is Karen."

"She's beautiful," Jay smiled as Karen gurgled and grabbed at his
blond hair. He cooed at Karen and tickled her chin. "When you grow up,
daddy's gonna teach you how to smoke the fat blunts, yes he is!"

Bob glared at Jay.

"What? And if any guy ever breaks your heart? Me and your fat daddy
will kick his ass!"

Bob nodded at this and then gave Jay a look that said, "We'll talk
about your 'fat blunts' later."

"Yeah, whatever." Jay turned his attention back to Karen and continued
to coo and smile at her. "Lemme hold 'er."

Silent Bob carefullly, almost reverently handed Karen to Jay. "Who's
the cutest little girl? You are!" Jay said as he poked her nose. Karen
yawned and blinked sleepily. Bob's heart just about melted when he
heard Jay sing Karen a lullaby. But Bob was pretty sure that there had
never been that many curse words in "Rock-A-Bye Baby" before.