Title: Alternate Ending to Chasing Amy Author: Taylor Jameson Fandom: Chasing Amy Pairing: Banky/Holden/Alyssa Rating: NC-17 Summary: What if they had gone through with the threesome? Archive: To the pre approved places, all others ask first. E-mail: taylorjameson@yahoo.com Series/Sequel: Nope Web Page: http://www.angelfire.com/az2/taylorjameson Disclaimer: The Askewnivers belongs to the wonderful marvelous Kevin Smith. I can only hope to play in it a little. Warnings: Here there be angst... Writer's Comments: I had to do this. Don't ask why...I just did. Oh, and you will probably notice I defiantly take Banky's side...I just can't help it...maybe some day I'll see Holden or Alyssa's point of view...I just identify so much with the old Bankster. Also note that this contains two of my weakest points, het sex and threesomes. Dedication: This one is for my uncle that helped me return to angst. Date: 9/8/2000 "Sure." Banky shrugged. His world was torn down by the revelation and reformed by the kiss. "Alyssa?" Holden's eyes shone with his sincere belief that he could make things right. Alyssa looked down at her hands, a thick section of hair falling over her eyes. There was a chance Holden was right, and a threesome would settle everything. Of course, there was an even bigger chance that it would upset the delicate balance of things and send Holden into a hell he wasn't ready to face...not to mention what it could do to Banky. But ultimately, she couldn't resist Holden's eyes, "If you think it's the right thing to do..." "And I do." Holden nodded sincerely. "Banky, are you sure?" "If I touch you, you'll touch back?" Banky's eyes shone with the mixed signals of his heart and his dick. "Absolutely." Holden brought himself to eye level with the seated man. Then, their lips met in a soft kiss. "Save me some." Alyssa smiled, then cut in and kissed the middleman. "Let's not do this here." Banky's voice was soft and wavered slightly. "He's right." Alyssa gasped, pulling out of the kiss. After a pause, the trio stripped their way to Holden's bedroom. Banky sighed as he watched Holden embrace the naked woman, then turn to him. "Banky?" Holden's eyes said the only words needed. Without hesitation, Banky took the man he'd know his whole life. In a hail of fierce kisses he whispered sweet 'I love you' words and ran his hands down the small of the familiar back. Alyssa kissed her lover's ears from behind, caressing the skin Banky wasn't claiming. Pressing her breasts into Holden's back and Banky's hands, she felt herself drawn into the world she thought she had abandoned. Before long the trio progressed to the large bed and Holden slid open the night stand drawer and removed a pair of condoms. "Banky." he handed one to the other man, then opened his own and slid it on. Alyssa lay back on the sheets and spread her thighs for Holden, massaging her clit as she caressed her nipples, "Let's fuck." "Not fuck." Holden corrected, "We're making love." Banky slowly tore open the foil package and fumbled with the lubed rubber. His head began to pound as he slid it onto his stiff cock. Here he was, *making love* to the only person he'd ever loved. In one moment, everything he'd kept secret...even to himself...was forced out, and exploited. That's what it was, exploitation. With a heavy sigh, he waited for Holden to pound into Alyssa, then hesitantly saddled up and let Holden come down on him. Holden's mind whirred and body pulsed. With each stroke he could feel his cock in Alyssa's wetness and Banky's filling him. Finally, things began to seem whole. Gasping and clawing at Holden, Alyssa felt her orgasm crest and wash over her, then readied for the next. The look on Holden's face told her he was enjoying the 'shared moment'. She tired not to look at Banky, but something about the groaning man called out to her. Banky felt the thrill ripping through him and opened his eyes. Alyssa had almost screamed as her first orgasm hit. He saw her body spasm as Holden continued his thrusts, then he realized what was happening. He pulled out as fast as he could and flew to his own room. "Banky?" Holden looked to the door. "Shh..." Alyssa smiled sedately, "Deal with him later." * * * * * Banky sobbed and peeled off the rubber, then flushed it down the toilet as he cried. He could hear Holden and Alyssa fucking and moaning like a couple of animals. He had to get out. Quickly, Banky pulled on a long sleeve shirt and jeans, then stepped into his sneakers and left. He went to the last place Holden would look for him, Meow Mix. "You look like shit." Hooper raised an eyebrow as Banky collapsed on a barstool. "Thanks." the man sighed. "You all right?" the black man leaned heavily on the bar. In a motion he reached into the cooler for a bottle of beer. "Fuck the beer." Banky grumbled, "I want tequila...keep it coming until I either pass out or go into a seizure." "Are you okay, hon?" Hooper poured a shot and sat it before the already red-eyed man. Banky tipped back the shot and grimaced, slamming the glass back on the bar. "I don't want to talk about it." "Suit yourself." Hooper poured another. Banky sighed again and scanned the room, "Hey, there's an awful lot of guys here...I thought this was a dyke bar." "Hell no." Hooper smiled, "We mix equally, that was just a dyke party." He raised an eyebrow as Banky slammed the shot, "Why, see one you wanna take home?" "Given the current situation," Banky picked up the fresh shot, "that's not funny." Then, he titled back his head and drank number 3. * * * * * "Come on bro, its closing time." Hooper patted Banky's shoulder. Banky pulled his head up from its resting place on the bar and slammed back the next shot. He didn't remember what number it was, but he couldn't remember much else either, so it wasn't so bad. "Time to go home before Holden sends out the cavalry." Hooper smirked. "Fuck that asshole." Banky threw down the heavy glass, not surprised when it didn't shatter. "He has his fucking dyke." "Are you okay?" Hooper came around the bar and helped Banky up as the last few staggerers left. "Really, I mean it, you can tell me." "I...he..." Banky began to sob uncontrollably. "It's all right." Hooper put his arm around Banky's waist and supported him. "I'll take you back to my place." * * * * * "Feeling any better?" Hooper looked into Banky's tearstained eyes and handed him another cup of coffee. Banky nodded silently, then slumped back against the couch. "So, you gonna tell me why you feel the need to drink yourself into an early grave?" Hooper settled down beside Banky, "Or do I have to beat it out of you?" "Though I'd welcome a savage beating, I may as well tell you." Banky sighed and rubbed his eyes. "It's a fairly complex situation though." "I think I can handle it." Hooper sipped his own cup of java. "It's like this..." Banky sighed, "You know how I feel about Holden. Over the years, it's kinda became like we're married without the sex." "I figured as much." Hooper shrugged. "Well, he goes and falls in love with this born again dyke slut." Banky bit into his lip in hesitation, then continued, "And I got jealous." "Of course you would, she's a threat to the possibility of you getting him." Hooper nodded. "It gets worse." Banky drank deep, then went on. "Today, he goes and gets us all together, right, then tells me point blank that he understands that I'm in love with him!" "Holy shit..." Hooper leaned in. "Then, you'll love this, he kisses me. Mind you, up until that moment I hadn't even acknowledged that part of me, let alone acted on it." "What then?" Hooper was getting into the story. "This is where it gets sick and wrong." Banky pushed back the threatening tears, "He tells the bitch that everything would be all perfect if we had a threesome! I said 'yes', only because I could never say 'no' to him, and then she goes and agrees!" "Did you do it?" Hooper's eyes were getting bigger by the moment. "Alyssa and I started kissing him, then we all got naked on the way to his room and kept making out with Holden until we were up on the bed. Then he was fucking her, and I was fucking his ass and it hit me..." the tears began to win the fight and welled up in his eyes. "It wasn't about me at all. It was about Holden using my love for him to get Alyssa into some kinky sex thing!" Hooper took Banky into his arms as he began to cry again, "Shh...it'll be okay." "No, it won't!" Banky sobbed louder. "Don't you get it? He means more to me than anything in this fucking *universe*, and all he wants is Alyssa! He even went as far as to *use* me to get her!" "Banky, think rationally! He probably doesn't even realize what he's done..." Hooper tried to put it in perspective. "Then tell me one thing." Banky sucked back the tears. "Why didn't he come after me when I left?" Beyond the torrent of emotions Banky was going through, Hooper knew the man had a point. If Holden had truly wanted to let Banky know and understand the love they shared, if it wasn't really about Alyssa...he would have gone after Banky immediately. "Banky...I..." "I'm right, aren't I?" Banky looked deep into the black man's eyes, "He doesn't even care, does he?" "You don't know that Banky, maybe he's confused...maybe he's crying his eyes out back there..." Hooper tried to save the moment. "And maybe he's fucking Alyssa. He's fucking her because he's in love with her." Banky rested his face in his hands. "Stay here tonight." Hooper pulled Banky into a hug. "Things will make more sense when the tequila wears off and you've both had time to think." "I don't need to think Hooper." Banky laughed ironically, "Don't you see? I'm nothing to him compared to her...our twenty years together don't mean shit compared to his little dyke." "Go sleep on my bed." Hooper helped the man to his feet and led him to the bedroom, "We can talk more in the morning." "How appropriate." Banky peeled off his shirt and slid out of his shoes, "A faggot sleeping his first faggot night on another faggot's bed." He let his jeans drop, then flopped onto the large bed. Hooper sighed and shut the door, then pulled on his jacket. He was going to get some answers. * * * * * After about 10 minutes of knocking, Hooper was ready to give up...then Holden opened the door. "What?" Holden grumbled, "it's 2 am. You better have a damn good reason..." "Where's Banky?" Hooper pushed his way past the man. Holden straightened out his boxers and ran a hand through his mussed hair, "Probably sleeping. We've had a wild evening." "Really. Well, those of us that weren't fucking Alyssa know he's at my place. He came to the club and drank half a bottle of tequila." Hooper looked harshly at Holden, "Would you happen to know why he'd do that??" "Well, you seem to know everything, so you tell me." Holden sat on the couch. "I want to hear it from you." Hooper sat on the opposite end. "Well, since you seem pissed, I'd venture to say he got jealous of Alyssa, then got wasted and told you what an ass I am." Holden rubbed his eyes, "Now can I go back to bed?" "He's in love with you, you know." Hooper spoke dryly. "No, he isn't. He just thinks he is because I'm the only man he's touched." Holden replied. "That's what I thought at first, but honey...this one is serious. We both know Banky doesn't exaggerate." Hooper's eyes lowered, "And he thinks you don't want anything to do with him. You know, he was sobbing because he thinks you only want Alyssa." "Well, he's right." Holden replied. "I'm with Alyssa now and can only be his support." Hooper looked away, "Then you need to tell him that. I can't Holden...he loves you too much for me to break his heart for you." "He won't listen to me, never has." Holden shrugged. "He will if I'm gone." Alyssa came out of the bedroom. "No baby, you aren't ever leaving my sight." Holden smirked, then frowned when he saw that she'd gotten dressed. "I have to Holden. After what I saw today..." Alyssa sighed. "When he saw that you were only interested partially in him, his heart broke." "Alyssa, don't do this to me. I love you." Holden stood and turned to the woman. "It was great while it lasted Holden, but I know deep in my heart that you were meant for Banky." Alyssa walked to the door. "I'm sorry I let you think that after this we'd be together...but that just can't happen." Then, she was gone. "Alyssa!" Holden tried to go after her, but found Hooper pulling him back. "She's right." Hooper pulled Holden away from the door, "She's gone...and it's the best thing for you." "You know what?" Holden's temper flared, "Just get the hell out of here! I'm sick of all you fucking homos!" "I'll forgive you for that." Hooper turned to go, "But I'll be back tomorrow with Banky." * * * * * Holden sighed and sank into the couch again. When it came time to make the decision between Alyssa and Banky, it had been simple enough. Banky had twenty years to make his move and say the words, but Alyssa had still beat him to it. Now, Alyssa was gone and Banky too most likely. The decision had been wrong. "Fuck." Holden felt the tears coming on. "No, that's what got me into this mess." He loved Alyssa, but also loved his friend for life. When he began to realize he and Banky may as well be fucking, he wasn't afraid...more assured that they would always be at least friends. Alyssa...she was fleeting and could be gone at any moment...and it seemed both were now gone for good. * * * * * "Banky?" Hooper knocked gently on his bedroom door, "You up yet." He heard a loud groan in reply, the hangover had set in. Slowly, he opened the door and entered. "I'm never gonna drink tequila again..." Banky whimpered. "How you feeling?" Hooper sat down on the bed as Banky rolled onto his back. "Like shit." Banky opened his eyes slightly. "I talked to Holden last night, he wants to talk to you." Hooper spoke softly so as not to aggravate the headache. Banky sighed, "Was he with Alyssa?" "Alyssa left him." Hooper smiled. "Good for her." Banky rolled back onto his stomach. "She deserves a good woman." "This is your chance with Holden." Hooper patted Banky's back. "I'll talk to him...after that I don't know if I'll ever want to be that close to him again." Banky sighed. "I'm going to go fix some breakfast." Hooper stood up slowly, "Go on ahead and take a shower...I think I heard you finding the bathroom last night." "Yeah, got it." Banky waved a hand. * * * * * "Are you sure you're ready to do this?" Hooper looked to Banky as they got ready to go in. Banky nodded, "Here, I want to go alone. Go to the record store, I'll meet you there." "If that's what you want." Hooper patted Banky on the shoulder, "Good luck bro" Banky took a deep breath as Hooper left, then went in. "I was wondering when you were going to show up." Holden sighed, "I know how bad hangovers are on you." "Well, seeing as how we have some things we need to work out..." Banky tried not to dive right off the deep end. Holden took control of the situation, "I guess you really do love me." "So I've heard." Banky moved to the kitchen. "Come on, talk to me Banky." Holden sighed. "You want me to talk, okay, I'll talk." Banky walked over by the drawing tables. "I love you Holden, I don't know how and I wish I knew why, but I do." He swallowed dryly, "But when you exploited me to get into Alyssa's panties I saw you for the scum you are." "Banky, stop being such a drama queen. You know I love you both." Holden didn't even look to him. "You know it." "Maybe that's the case. But I also know that right now I'm convenient for you because Alyssa left. And I don't want to be your rebound, Holden." Banky stacked his papers. "Maybe I should leave too." "Don't go." Holden stood, looking into Banky's eyes. "Stay, please." "What, stay and endure you there every moment. I don't even know * WHO* I am Holden, all I know is that I want you very much. But I don't want to want you right now." Banky felt the hysterical tears coming on again. "I don't want you to be the only one for me when you picked me *second* after her!" "Banky, I'm sorry...I want to make it up to you." Holden moved to his friend's side. "Why don't we go off together, maybe take a cruise somewhere...just get the hell out of Jersey for a while." "I'm not going to let you do this to me Holden!" Banky stepped back to the window. "I'm not going to let you convince me everything will be all right because it won't! Tomorrow, and the day after that and the millennia after that, I'll still be number 2!" "Banky, I was wrong for what I did. You just have to understand my reasoning!" Holden took the defensive, "I love you both equally. The way I see it, you had 20 years to tell me Banky, t-w-e-n-t-y. Yet, she still beat you to it." "Don't you dare throw that in my face!" Banky raised a hand. "Do you want to hit me?" Holden looked like he was about to cry. "Hit me Banky, if it will make you realize how much I *do* love you, hit me." "Holden...I swear...don't make me do this." Banky pulled his hand into a fist, "I don't want to hurt you." "Come on, if it will make things right between us again, then go for it. You can't hurt me physically more than I'm hurting emotionally right now." "Holden..." Banky felt the tears come. Then, before he knew it, he was sobbing on Holden's shoulder. The strong supportive arms pulled him in and comforted him more than they should. "Shh...it will all be okay." Holden smoothed out Banky's still damp hair, "I love you...always." "You do?" Banky pulled away, looking rather child-like with his face red and stained with tears. "Yes Banky, always." Holden took Banky's hands. "More than Alyssa?" Banky bit into his lip. "Alyssa Who?" Holden smiled gently. Banky slid so easily back into Holden's arms. He knew things would never be perfect, nor would they ever be the same. But sometimes giving in to the strong arms is best. ***** END *****